Today’s guest blog post is by Sara Benny from A Virtuous Home and can be originally found here!
As the children of God, we need to look to the scriptures for the answers and seek His help alone. You can breathe life into your empty marriage life through prayer, scripture, and trusting our Lord, Jesus. So, what are the seven beautiful ways to strengthen your marriage?
Rebuilding intimacy in marriage
I want to quote the words of the author of the book Alchemist, Paulo Coelho, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” There was a time in my life when I thought my marriage would be like a fairy tale and never knew the investments it needs to flourish.
And when the reality hit me, I knew it needed a lot more work than I expected. All I did was look to the Lord in prayer. It was my sincere desire to rebuild the intimacy in marriage, strengthen the marriage, and get the divine guidance.
How to bring back intimacy in a marriage?
Building intimacy in a marriage is important in strengthening marriage.
Put God first in your marriage.
Marriage is the most beautiful relationship where two people are driven by love towards each other. And it can only be beautiful when there is love between the two persons.
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)
So, I am rephrasing the above sentence to be- Marriage is the most beautiful relationship where two people are driven by God towards each other. And it can only be beautiful when there is God between the two persons.
Hope you got the key point :).
Companionship in marriage
Be your husband’s favorite companion whom he loves to spend his time together.
This is not an easy task, so let’s take encouragement from the scripture.
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (Mathew 7:12)
- Be gentle and cheerful always
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. (1 Peter 3:3-4)
A right companion always knows the right time to talk. You can spoil both of your moods by simply bombarding your husband with your frustrations or pessimistic talks, or you can warmly greet him when he comes home and save your discussions for later. This makes a huge difference!
I should say that my husband loves to watch classic movies and I hate watching it. All I do is force myself to watch with him because my interests are completely different.
There was a time when I tried to resist him, but now I decide to focus on the relevant and to ignore the irrelevant.
The good news is, now I love watching such movies with him as I am sitting beside him enjoying time together.
Are you a good listener? Have you ever neglected when your husband talks to you or when he shows you some exciting news?
Try to take a conscious step to pause whatever you are doing, and listen to him for that little time. He will love it!
My husband loves when I smile at him, or when I am cheerful. It reminded me that the habit of being pleasant and optimistic makes me lovable and attractive.
So, why not take a step to always talk to him in a friendly, pleasant manner to get his attention!
Men love delicious foods prepared with love :).
Physical Intimacy in marriage
A strong physical relationship is built on emotional intimacy and companionship. If you desire to have good physical intimacy, it is important to address the emotional needs of the partner.
Being a submissive wife
Is submission important in marriage life? Do I have to be a submissive wife to strengthen my marriage?
As we see there are thousands of ideas on the internet about this topic alone. Some think being submissive is neglecting one’s freedom, or even as slavery.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (Ephesians 5:21- 27)
Marriage is never a one-sided relationship. As husbands and wives, we need to respect and appreciate each other’s efforts out of reverence for Christ.
As wives, we should let our husbands have the lead role in our family, and help him to be the man God desire about him. For that, we need to be renewed in our minds and be filled with the spirit of Christ to be the wife glorifying God through our lives.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5)
But, what if your husband hardly cares about your needs, or barely shows affection or appreciate your efforts. In that case, I urge you to walk an extra mile with Jesus who can save your marriage.
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. (1 Peter 3:1-2)
Give thanks to God for everything
How can I strengthen my marriage by giving thanks to God?
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Colossians 3:17)
Always give thanks to the Lord in everything, whether you are doing the dishes, laundry, cleaning, organizing, and in the tiniest of things you do in your house- do it with thanksgiving and prayer.
Even the most vibrant marriage can turn dull one day if you fail to see the purpose of doing those mundane things. But if you do everything with thanksgiving and prayer, your heart will be filled with God’s peace and your home will be a beautiful reflection of Christ and the church.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6)
Let us have the same mindset as Christ Jesus!
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. (Philippians 2:5-7)
Effective communication in marriage
Communication is crucial in marriage relationships, and it is essential in strengthening marriage.
So, does this mean we can communicate all the silly things that are revolving in our mind? Or to constantly complain about the things which are pending to complete or undone?
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue (Proverbs 31:26).
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones (Proverbs 16:24).
As Christian wives, we should communicate with our husbands in a way pleasing to the Lord. This might be against our nature, but when we are ready to be renewed in our minds (Ephesians 2:21-24) and seek the wisdom of Christ in our lives, He will help us.
Be intentional in spending time with each other without any external distractions for at least half an hour.
Express opinions, or any negative feelings in a gentle way.
It is okay to be specific when asking something as men are not good mind readers.
Avoid responding when you are angry. Resume the conversation only once you are calm down.
Try to avoid reminding him of the pending “to do lists”.
Now, let us check some things that can aid us in the effective communication process.
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife (Proverbs 21:19).
The best way to effectively communicate with your husband is to know the best way to show your love towards him.
So, let’s check some ideas to get his attention.
Appreciate and affirm him for all his efforts to build your family.
Ask Jesus, and Jesus will fill you with the fruits of the spirit which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Being attentive of every single need of the family- cooking, cleaning, organizing, children, dressing up, etc.
Listening to him whenever he initiates a conversation.
More than anyone, your husband deserves your best. So, give him the best of you in everything.
Involve and show enjoyment in his interests too.
Try speaking in a soft voice.
Cook his favorite food.
Prayer for marriage protection
There was a time when I took this less significant in my marriage life. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t pray at all. I surely did, but I didn’t use this powerful weapon to strengthen my marriage wisely. We can always cover our husband in prayer, building an invisible wall of protection on him through the power of prayer.
It is true that we often become vexed when situations turn unfavorable, but prayer is the most powerful weapon to protect the love of your life from all the snares of the enemy.
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8)
Pray for your husband in all the walks of his life- in everything give thanks to the Lord in faith, believing that your prayer is heard.
When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would make arrangements for them to be purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, “Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” This was Job’s regular custom. (Job 1:5)
Bible tells the love and reverence Job had for God. He was rich, blessed in everything, and even in that abundance he was mindful of praying for his children on a single thought- perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.
Be ready with the armor of God, and fight for your family!
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 10:12)
Forgiveness in marriage
Forgiveness in marriage is essential to strengthen marriage and to keep it secure. We all easily feel whenever our emotions are hurt, sometimes may not express it soon but hide it till the right moment to vent it out. We try to forget it but fails to forgive.
Am not an expert in this, and I often struggle in this aspect of my marriage. Then I found a way to overcome this issue without accumulating much in my heart.
Love your husband in the way he is, and accept him for who is.
Always pause from talking when you are hurt.
Tell God your hurt feelings and then openly share it with your husband when you both are in a good mood.
There is no secret formula for forgiveness in marriage except “forgive as Christ forgave you” and “love as Christ loved you”.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Colossians 3:13).
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5).
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Hi, if you enjoyed reading this, please comment so that I may know someone has been encouraged reading this and that would make me glad in the Lord. So, please share your heart.