Anxiety, Bible, Church, Depression, family, Friends, friendship, god, happiness, insecurity, jesus, Life, Love, Uncategorized

Unwanted

Have you ever felt unloved? Unwanted? Part of the out crowd, never to be invited in.

If you have, you’re not alone. I have felt that feeling so many times that I’m still surprised at myself that I’ve allowed myself to feel hurt, disillusioned, and disappointed yet again. I mean…for cryin’ out loud…didn’t I see it coming?

I even get it. I see many of their points of view. Sometimes life is easier not including someone. But…does that make it right?

It’s always most surprising when it’s in the Church, though. Isn’t it? When you’re not invited to the thing; when you’re edged out; when someone has arrived only to leave you behind; when there’s a circle and there is no entry point.

It’s surprising because that’s our safe place. Right? The sanctuary…a place of refuge.

When you think of church, you think of a place you’re eager to get to. One might picture free-falling back into a 3-foot-deep floor made of pillows and all of their stress floating away like a feather on the wind as they finally make it to their refuge.

Unfortunately, in this case, the Church is full of fallible people just like you and just like me; and that often means our sanctuary can – at times – feel like a battleground at worst and a floor of eggshells not to be broken at the least.

People often get caught up in themselves, their own hurts, their own misconceptions, and even their own agendas – no matter how well meaning – even in church.

They often forget that we are commanded to love. We’re even told that all other commandments hinge upon the Greatest Commandment and it’s second…

Yet, how easily we slip into our Church roles and forget the main objective He assigned us.

We rush to our greeter station only to ignore the elderly woman on the back row. We exclude the mediocre but it’s okay because we were sure to praise their strengths before the aforementioned exclusion. We disregard this commandment because clearly that person doesn’t want me to love them as hateful as they behave. And the excuses go on and on.

I’m not saying it’s an easy assignment. We all know people that are hard to love. But…we’re not given allowances for whom or how we are to love.

There’s two things we must remember here:

1. We can’t change others, only how we respond to them. And…though we may be hurt it’s best that we remain humble and keep our eyes on Christ because all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. “All” includes you and I both. It’s also a reminder that while someone may seem perfect on Facebook they are just as imperfect as you and I, they are just as sinful. We should show them the grace that our Heavenly Father undeservingly shows us day after day or we are no better than those we cast judgment upon.

2. People, nor the Church, are our refuge. God is.

You see we’ve forgotten that the church isn’t our refuge, He is. We don’t need the group’s acceptance. We need His love, mercy, and grace… which all are accompanied by His acceptance. We don’t need to be a part of the in-crowd here because He desires that we attain being a part of His crowd up there.

God is the ultimate inclusive friend. He doesn’t care who you are, where you come from, what you’ve done. Every time you run to His word, and seek solace within it, He provides. He is the fountain that never runs dry – a fountain of friendship, love, and guidance. He has everything you’re looking for in the people around you… and it’s just waiting for you, He is just waiting for you.

Find your refuge in Christ, today, and become all you’re meant to be when you’ve laid all distractions aside

7 thoughts on “Unwanted”

  1. I always try to reach out and minister to others in the church, even if I am visiting. I don’t expect to be ministered to because most people don’t minister to people they don’t know.

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  2. Our church is really great at small talk, but I think it’s so important to realize that making people feel welcome is about more that small talk and meal trains. But I love your reminder that ultimately, our worth comes from Jesus. Such a great reminder. We always belong with Him.

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  3. We were just talking about this in our Bible Study group yesterday. We talked about how the instruction Paul give to RECEIVE people into the church regardless of where they are at in their walk with Christ. He was judged harshly by the Jewish church, the Gentiles in the church AND the people outside of the church. So he KNEW what it was like to feel alone, betrayed, unimportant, unseen. I think that’s part of why he can speak so authoritatively on this subject.

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  4. Great blog. This has been a sticking point for me. While I have a talkative bubbly personality the reality is I am an introvert and for years I fought my nature. Always felt like I sorta was accepted everywhere but belonged no where. Once I stepped back I realized I am at my best in smaller intimate settings and things in all doses. However, this is not how churches naturally function so I know people think I am not there because I have lost my way at times when reality is after a difficult week the thought of facing a crowd of people is too overwhelming. I love God and truly love worship – God has me and understands that I don’t need to have so much anxiety just to check a box on church attendance. Yes that week I might watch it on live stream or watch a televised one because that is what I need to do for my mental health.

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